Tomorrow of My Dreams

Yesterday she held me tight
today I’m all alone.
Yesterday the world was mine
today I’m stuck on home.
Yesterday was gorgeous joy
today is filled with tears.
Yesterday was moments –
today’s a thousand years.

I’m desperate for tomorrow that
I doubt will ever be.
Today’s a hopeless landscape whose
horizon I can’t see.

But I hope for tomorrow’s joy
as useless as it seems –
I know that yesterday once was
tomorrow of my dreams.

Notes: There are days when everything seems hopeless, when it feels like things will never get better. The only thing that consistently gets me through those days is remembering that this isn’t the first time I felt like this – that many times in the past I thought there would be no future, and yet here I am in the future I thought wasn’t possible. And I remind myself that I got here, to this moment of hopelessness, through moments of happiness which are now past but which once were in the future I thought was never possible… 

[Post-note: No, this is not a description of my current state. I firmly believe in Wordsworth’s definition of poetry as the “spontaneous overflow of powerful feeling” which “takes its origin in emotion recollected in tranquility.” I follow those guidelines like a religion, and try never to post poems I’ve written in the grip of the initial emotions. As with all religions, there is sin involved and I do sometimes post while in the grip of initial emotions… But not this time.]


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